what is an orgasm
what is an orgasm
By Britney Cook
Most of us have heard stories of thunder claps, crashing waves, quaking thighs and multiple orgasms, leaving some of us to wonder: what am I missing? The first step to understanding your own pleasure is to not compare yourself to other people or your perception of what everyone else is doing. An orgasmic experience is as unique as a fingerprint. Orgasms can be barely there, a faint quiver, a show stopper, spiritual outlet and more. In addition, some people may not desire to experience an orgasm or may never have one. Each person’s sexual experience is unique and your best bet is to discover your own, rather than try to be like someone else. We highly recommend treating orgasms as a possible, even probable, outcome of any sexual exploration instead of the goal of a sexual experience.
The Emotional and Mental Side of Orgasms: What’s So Sexy about the Brain?
Orgasms are whatever you perceive them to be. How one feels about themselves, their partner, and sex, will impact their sexual experiences.
* Our brain has been referred to as our largest sex organ.
* Our ideas around sex, pleasure and our right to pleasure will impact the way we experience pleasure and orgasms.
* During partner sex, having open communication, honesty, and telling a partner what you need and enjoy, can help a sexual experience be pleasurable and orgasmic.
By understanding how and why orgasm occurs, people can better understand their own bodies. And the more you know your body, the more easily you can experience pleasure and orgasm.
The Physiological Side of Orgasms
From a physiological perspective, sexologists Master and Johnson described four general stages of the human sexual response cycle. You can use their model as a flexible guideline or reference for understanding your own body’s cycle. It is extremely important to remember that everyone is different and some people may recognize all, a part, or none of the stages in their own personal cycle.
Many variables will affect your sexual response, including age, physical and emotional state and what kinds of sensations you’re feeling. Your sexual response will change over time, so your past experiences may work better as a place to start rather than something to try to recreate. Besides, that means that you can have the pleasure of rediscovering yourself instead of doing the same things your entire life!
The Sexual Response Cycle
Arousal
For many men and women, the sexual response cycle begins with arousal. There is a wide range of things that people can find stimulating. Essentially anything that taps into your senses — a touch, a fantasy, a smell, a taste, or a thought — can be arousing.
* This stimulation triggers an increase in blood flow throughout the body, including but not limited to the genitals.
* Increased blood flow to the penis, vulva, clitoris, vagina, lips, pelvic floor, anus, earlobes and nipples can cause those areas to become more aware and receptive to touch.
* Men and women both can feel and experience: increased heart rate, muscle tension, general body warmth and flushed skin.
* Women may experience vaginal lubrication, swelling of the clitoris and vaginal lips, and lifting of the inner vagina and the uterus.
An important note about lubrication — it is possible for a woman to be aroused and not be very lubricated. There are many possible reasons including: medications such as antihistamines, or hydration levels, dehydration caused by smoking or having a few drinks, or low amounts of estrogen. We offer many different lubricants that can make sex more enjoyable if you’re finding that there’s too much friction.
* Men may experience penile erection, as well as contractions of the scrotum and elevation of the testicles.
* Some factors that can affect a man’s ability to become erect are: anxiety, stress, or becoming distracted, as well as general health conditions.
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